I'm willing to debate and argue almost anything. Growing up, I was a part of my high school's first debate team and I frequently liked to take the position I actually disagree with just to see how effectively I could argue against "myself". I'm sure this revelation comes at absolutely no surprise to any of you. This trait extended to many areas of my life where I'd just find things to argue against because it was a challenge; I saw it as an opportunity to get that "leg up" on an opponent. It was like a sport.
That's when someone, and I can't recall who, told me "you don't have to attend every fight you're invited to". It's not that debate or discussion is bad, but sometimes an invitation to fight... or "disagree"... isn't being made in good faith. Sometimes when we know we are right, declining the debate is actually the best action. Declining an argument could be for the sake of keeping the peace or it could be to avoid falling into some sort of trap.
This was the situation for Nehemiah when he was approached by three individuals, Sanballat, Tobiah, and Geshem, and a group of additional enemies. These adversaries sent a message 5 times to Nehemiah saying...
[...] Come, let's meet together in the villages of the Ono Valley. [...] (Nehemiah 6:2)
It is a simple request, but given the motivations and relationships with these individuals, Nehemiah knew it was an invitation to fight. Four times Nehemiah responded that he was busy performing his work which he was called to do. Finally, his enemies sent another message revealing more of their true intentions: to accuse him of rising up against the Persian king and rebelling against his governmental masters.
What was Nehemiah to do? He could have gone down with a guard and defended his reputation. After all, these enemies were factually wrong and Nehemiah should stand up boldly for the truth, no matter the cost, right? RIGHT?!?!
Well, maybe not. Instead, Nehemiah simply replied...
[...] There is nothing to these rumors you are spreading; you are inventing them in your own mind. [...] (Nehemiah 6:8)
Nehemiah refused to accept an invitation to a fight simply because he was invited and he was "right". He knew that the payoff for the conflict was minimal but the risk to his mission was great.
This is something I have continued to learn from Pastor Frank. I have seen him in numerous situations where he was "right" and had plenty of invitations to get into a fight. Frank is definitely not afraid of a fight, but many times I've witnessed him practice great restraint and respond very much in the spirit of Nehemiah. It's something that I, and many of us, could learn from.
This is perhaps more useful now than at any point in our lives to-date. Invitations to fight will never stop. Only God knows whether our society will become more or less divisive as the months and years unfold, but we are called to ensure that our own actions reflect the spirit of Christ. This is a spirit that did not seek conflict and frequently refused to defend his own pride or ego in favor of focusing on his mission. Let us all continue to focus on our mission within the church, in our workplaces, in our homes, and among each other.
A quick note and plug: my father shared a book with me titled "When to Walk Away" by Gary Thomas. Good read if you ever want more on the subject.
DAILY PRAYER A Prayer for Patience in the Face of Disagreement
Lord Jesus, you showed us what it means to practice patience when faced with lies, slander, verbal and emotional abuse, and even physical violence. Afford us all a piece of that spirit in our interactions with society and those you have brought into our lives. Help us to know that "being right" isn't always the most important thing and that the calling of your ministry and mission should outweigh everything. You are in all and above all things; help our words and our interactions to reflect that statement and for those around us to see the light of your love in our discussions, disagreement, actions, and moments of restraint. In your name I pray, Amen.
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