This week's sermon was about the "reactive heart", or someone who has a tendency to react to circumstances or situations around them quicker than they should. In the sermon, I mentioned listening to Nate Sala, a pastor with a YouTube channel called Wise Disciple, and how he suggested that some people struggle with being "reactive". This hit me hard because it is something I have struggle with for most of my adult life.
If you are not a reactive person, let me try to describe the feeling. When you hear something that is incorrect, misinformed, or seems unjust, a reactive heart begins to feel an "itch" on the inside. It is an itch within the heart that simply must be scratched. If it's not dealt with, it drives you mad! How do you scratch this itch? Well, by lashing out, posting social media posts, rushing to justify yourself, and other actions that feel great "in the moment" but leave you feeling unsatisfied and disturbed. I have been this sort of person much of my life and so hearing this from Pastor Nate was convicting.
Truthfully, I feel like God has helped give me some peace over the last couple of years, allowing me to not be quite so reactive, but it is a constant struggle that makes me think, "How can I hope to be someone who claims to follow Jesus when I am burdened by such a fundamental character flaw?"
[...] Therefore, so that I would not exalt myself, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to torment me so that I would not exalt myself. Concerning this, I pleaded with the Lord three times that it would leave me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness." [...] (2 Corinthians 12:7b-9a)
Much has been said about Paul's passage regarding the "thorn in his side" with some claiming it was something physical and others claiming it was something spiritual. For many reasons, I tend to think this was something spiritual; perhaps Paul had a temptation or tendency which he found difficult to shake. This makes sense when you look at the verses following Paul's admission wherein he suggests that the treatment for his thorn was God's grace.
I think many of us have thorns; Paul's admission offers us some much needed peace despite our spiritual struggles. It gives us peace to know that, despite his struggles, Paul was able to still find much favor with God even with his pesky thorn. In fact, his thorn made it easier for him to see God through his circumstances! As sinners, we can take solace in knowing that a thorn is not a disqualifier for God's plan and goodness.
There is a second reason for peace, and that is when we are on the receiving end of others' thorns. Sometimes we are "pricked" by the offenses of another and are quick to become reactive. In those moments, it also brings us peace to remember that not even Paul was entirely holy and pure within his flesh. We are all flawed, so there is no use in getting overly upset when individuals succumb to the flesh. This isn't to say that consequences for actions no longer apply, but rather that we should look upon the faults of others in the same way Christ did: as an opportunity to participate in God's glory through offerings of grace and compassion.
I have my flaws and it has burdened my soul tremendously knowing that I am incapable of overcoming them on my own. However, I am also hopeful in what Christ can do through my weakness. I pray for the victory that I may one day see and pray for the clemency of those around me who may get "pricked" by the thorn in my side. If nothing else, I can grow stronger in my faith by embracing my weakness, because it is in that weakness that Christ is magnified.
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